Lasting Friendship

I have recently re-connected with so many friends through Facebook. I wanted to share a few realizations that I have made.

When I was growing up my family moved alot, the longest I ever attended one elementary school was 2 1/2 years and that was at Lee School in Azusa, CA. While there I became friends with a group of girls, and for once bonded. I finished out the remainder of my 6th grade year at Murray Elementary, also in Azusa. I didnt make friends there because I really missed the friends I had made at Lee School. After moving 2 more times, I ended back in Azusa at the same Middle school with the friends I had missed so much! Then on to AHS, at this point I started drifting towards dysfuntional people like myself. It didnt appear that I had anything in common with those young girls that I had held so close to my heart. I always seemed to try to gain acceptance from them, and finally now as an adult I realize that none of that matters. I know this sounds very immature and petty. I am trying to make a point, as well as share a realization that I have made and hope to get to the point as quickly as possible.

This past weekend I went to visit a neighbor, who is also the mother of old friends. My friend Letty was there and we got to talking and what not and when I left I felt sad. One semester of my 7th grade year I went to school with her and hung around with her. When we moved back to Azusa, I didnt hold on to her friendship. I should have, I should have held on to all those connections that I had made. Now as an adult I have re-connected with so many people that had crossed my path, and went un-noticed. They have all grown up together, made and shared memories with each other. The friendships I thought were worthy, were not. I really dont have friends. I have a couple of people that I am close to and I cherish them dearly. I have to admit I am very envious of all those people who have history together.

The funny thing thing is that the group of girls that I longed to be part of, and accepted by, never really did feel the same way about me. Not out of any type of maliciousness, I am sure they probably weren't aware of how much they meant to me. I was the one trying to hold on to a time that had been long gone. I realize now that I wanted to hold on to these friends because that was the first time in my life that I had any stability. I am glad that I can finally admit that to myself. I am going to try so very hard to hold on to those friends that I have re-connect with and start making new memories.

Like I said, I know this may come across immature, but it is how I felt then, and more importantly how I feel now.

Remember

Here it is 8 years later...September 11th is still so vivid in my memory. I woke up to the news of what had happened and quite honestly it did not sink in until later that morning when I was at work. I was having what was probably my 3rd cup of coffee and reading the news on the web when it hit me. Terrorist attacks on American soil??? How could that possibly happen? Those things dont happen to us!

Quite clearly, it did happen and we were all reeling from the impact. We were no longer invincible, or untouchable. The world has changed, nothing would ever be the same.

The events of September 11th will never be forgotten or will the impact ever diminish. Even though I felt a tremendous sense of loss and violation. I remembered that attacks like this happen all too often all over the world, terrorism is part of their daily life. What kind of life can that possibly be? Although, I cannot wrap my mind around the concept, the truth is life goes on and people survive the best way they can.

The human spirit will triumph!

Decisions, Decisions!

So my husband and I have agreed to start looking for another place to live. We currently live in his grandmothers house. It is a very welcoming house, and we have been blessed to have been able to live there. The truth be told it is very old and unfortunately we are not able to put the kind of money into it, that is needs. I am praying that something will come along around the start of 2010.

In the meantime, I found out that the authorization for the GB SurgeryI have been waiting for is in progress...yay! I cannot even begin to express how motivated and determined I am to get healthy!